The topic of friendship has come up quite often lately. My friend Rosalynn wrote about it here. Lisa TerKeurst wrote an entire study on it. Mom’s Night Out shows how moms need time-out for deeper friendships. Even the movie Mean Girls shows the dark side of so-called friendship.
Having lived in six different states, I have had to develop my circle of kindred spirits multiple times. I have learned the hard way that some people have room in their lives for you and others don’t. Sometimes people are in a stage of life where they just can’t juggle one more relationship. Others were lonely like me, and we bonded instantly. Other people have no concept that they could even benefit from friendships outside their 20-year BFF’s.
I really wish that I could have grown up near my grandparents and have nearby friends whom I have known since babyhood. It sounds so Norman-Rockwell-ish, but that’s not the life God gave me. Apparently He had something else for me to learn. I have spent enough time as the “new girl” to value the priceless friendships that come from my circle of kindred spirits. I have also experienced the discomfort of being on the outside looking in when others are oblivious to my loneliness. And unfortunately, I have also been so comfortable in my friendships that I forgot to look around for the outliers.
So how do we make sure our friend circles stay healthy? How do we avoid becoming the snobby clique that drives people away from the body of Christ? Read more…